Saturday, November 21, 2009
Tribute to the Nice Guys.
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that
finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on, but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back, and sit patiently outside the changing rooms at department stores. This is in honour of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/sexy/funny their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. The guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. The guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favour cheaters,
for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and underappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you. The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as: “oh, he’s too nice to date”, or “oh, he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me”, or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!”, or, the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship”. Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathise and apologise for the men that are jerks. Sorry guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realise that they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re tired of hearing yourself referred to as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department stores, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
Free Hugs @ 11:21 PM l
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